First of all, if you’re (still) reading this, thank you for being patient during the silence over the past year in which I’ve only done a few reviews – probably not even enough to qualify as a ‘handful’. I’ve thought about this site a lot when listening to new albums or after going to gigs (I’ve been to a fair lot this year, even more than usual), but I can never seem to gather any energy or willpower enough to sit down and type my thoughts. It’s frustrating when you’re in that slump because all your time feels wasted and you only have yourself to blame… which I guess is true.
This isn’t a post for sympathy – at least not consciously – but understanding is something I greatly appreciate with anyone who knows me or follows this blog. I’ll never bring my personal business in this, I just wouldn’t feel comfortable about exposing myself on this sort of platform (an open blog or a personal music reviewing site), but when some people get in contact about me doing stuff for them, I can sense the impatience at times and the personal reasons for why I’ve gone quiet is stuff I don’t really want to use as an ‘excuse’. It’s much easier for me to just avoid emails and messages until I feel ready to talk, and even then, my reply might be minimal.
The main reason for this (and I feel stupid for opening up about it) is that I’m currently very depressed, and have been for the past year. I’ve always had bouts of depression since my mid-teens, but the last year has been a new level (or hole) for me. I’m not going to go into details, but a lot of the time it is extremely hard to motivate yourself to get through a day, let alone “the rest of your life”. Seeing any good in anything isn’t an option; seeing any worth in yourself or other people is something that does not exist. A lot of the time it’s easier to try to nullify hopes and life with sleep, alcohol, isolation, etc. That’s just how it is.
I’m still battling with that, but I’m tired of feeling tired, and lately I’ve been thinking of things I’d like to do with the blog, to make it a more hands-on thing for my love of music. That said, I can guarantee that there will be no reviews (bar one, for another site) up here before the end of the year. HOWEVER: there will be end of the year lists – some of which I’ve already started! So even though you might not have been in the loop with what I’ve been digging this year, you will find out! Granted, disappointments won’t be in there, but they don’t need the attention that some of the overlooked blinders of the year deserve, and I think there’s quite a few.
So yeah, Rich Reviewz will formally be back in action next year. In the meantime, I’ll be working on my plans for the site that I’m hoping will happen, because I think they’re pretty interesting ideas (can you hear my ego growing?). I’m sorry to anyone who has sent stuff for submission – even though I did sorta of warn about this – because I’ve simply not checked the email for months. If you have a release next year, I’m interested, please let me know!
In the meantime, look after yourselves and enjoy the chilly ending of 2014.